Director: Stan Ferris
Writer(s): Fred Sappho
Cast: Gabe Kaplan, Bernadette Peters, Henry Gibson, Al Waxman
Leland Irving (Gabe Kaplan) is depressed and lonely but his attempts at suicide are unsuccessful. He hires a professional hit man, Maurice Avocado (Henry Gibson) to kill him; Avocado will use the code word "Tulips" when the time is at hand. While awaiting his fate, Leland comes across a woman--Rutanya Wallace (Bernadette Peters)--who is attempting suicide, and saves her. Rutanya is suffering from being rejected by a lover, but is charmingly unconventional and outgoing, the opposite of Leland's introvert. Their lives become inter-twined, and although wary and battling initially, they fall in love and marry.
However, now that they have found each other, they must call off the hit by Avocado, and complications arise. When Avocado will not agree to calling off the Hit, Leland and Rutanya desperately try to obtain guns, etc., to attempt to kill the killer.